Sure, anyone can make words on a screen. And anyone can yap into a microphone. But how many can do both?

How to Date Successfully, and Avoid Divorce

Jennifer Aniston is getting divorced. Again. Halle Berry is thrice-divorced. Jennifer Lawrence just dated a guy old enough to be her dad, and Taylor Swift tears through boyfriends like Guy Fieri does bottles of hydrogen peroxide. There’s something these women all have...

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With Friends Like Me…

Sometimes, you fuck with your friends, simply because they’re your friends. In a way, they deserve it, right? After all, they made the mistake of being a friend of yours. Heh.

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The Infertility Club

After every show, I’d be approached by people who struggled with infertility. They’d share their stories—how many years deep they were, or how many years total before they gave up, how much it cost, what it did to their marriage…

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Conveyor Belt Songwriting

One of my best friends is a jazz musician in New York City. Years ago he told me a secret: “You know, Jennifer Lopez is so bereft of talent that she can’t sing on her own albums without help.”

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