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Sure, anyone can make words on a screen. And anyone can yap into a microphone. But how many can do both?
I Make Baby Sneeze

I Make Baby Sneeze

There are many reasons I am a comedian and not a singer, but the main two are: My shitty singing voice and my inability to carry a tune.
That said, it’s good to know that I’m good for one thing: causing sneezes.

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Learning Curve

Learning Curve

As a comedian, you have to deal with hecklers: people who want to be part of the show but are too cowardly to stand on stage and write material for themselves. An audience member has only really bested me once. I was performing in Duluth, Minnesota, in the summer of...

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The Importance of Situational Awareness

One of my best friends, Mr. Brian Jones, came to visit me when I lived in Los Angeles. Well, to be fair, he traveled to LA for business, then stayed a couple extra days to hang out with me. It was his first time in Hollywood, and as I took him to his hotel, we got...

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Distance & Fear

Distance & Fear

At 3½ weeks old, my daughter Hillary made the big-step transfer from a bassinet in the master bedroom, to the crib in her own nursery. Lydia said the move needed to be made, but I was having none of it. I asked if one of us should sleep in the spare bed we put in the...

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Instillation

Instillation

I don’t remember exactly what grade, but at some point during junior high I was in the car with my mom, and a friend. I said something politically incorrect, and my mom shushed me. A little embarrassed, my friend laughed and said, “Your son” while shaking his head. My...

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