This week on the podcast, your two favorite comedians discuss…
—Modern Dating
—Trump’s Reflecting Pool
00:00 Introductions
01:04 Modern Dating
05:33 Portugal Soccer
18:19 Rod Stewart
28:27 Trump’s Reflecting Pool
—Modern Dating
A frumpy woman started dating appropriate men and thought she’d done something special.
Modern dating is weird, but more power to her for attempting to go low.
She may not look like a cougar, but she certainly tried cosplaying one.
Sure, she failed, but that’s what modern dating is all about: the attempt.
Anyway, Yost SEO is on my butt for not writing the phrase “modern dating” enough, so I guess I have to throw it in one more time in order to make the search Gods happy.
—Portugal Soccer
Portugal soccer players refused to leave their Florida hotel rooms, because they saw alligators on the pitch.
I hope-hope-hope this is a real story, because that’s HILARIOUS.
Bonus: Google up “old man frying pan alligator.”
You will absolutely NOT be disappointed.
—Rod Stewart
South Park made fun of Rod for being too old to perform TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS AGO… and people are still paying to see him live.
WHY???
Anyway, Rod canceled a concert because he was sick, and then people got mad because he went to a World Cup match.
Um… easy joke: he was sick, so he went to a soccer game for a nap.
(But seriously, you can sit and drink at a soccer game. It takes zero effort. Performing live? That you can’t do while ill. Dummies.)
—Trump’s Reflecting Pool
$15 million to a friend, to fail.
I wonder what the kickback was.
Either way, now he’s arresting people and blaming them for his failings.
Weird.
Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.
Tune in and get your giggle on.
Find Jake at @jakevevera