This blog is one in a series aimed to help you book a comedian for your bar, restaurant, corporate event, or bris. Here, we talk value. Basically, like anything in life, you get what you pay for.
When I was in high school, I wanted to play the bass guitar.
I thought Sting was pretty cool, and wanted to be like him.
Actually, to be honest, not much has changed. Sting is still pretty cool, and I wish I were more like him.
Anyway, I heard some advice when it came to buying a musical instrument. My parents thought I should buy a cheap bass, and then upgrade if I liked it.
Other people thought I should buy the most expensive bass out there; go for quality right off the bat.
Then I got some advice from a musician: “If you were going skydiving, would you buy the cheapest parachute?”
OK, that’s more a leading question than it is advice, but you get the point.
I couldn’t afford a hand-crafted, $3,000 bass, but I could afford your standard, $500 bass.
I forwent the bargain brand, $75 “You too can buy a bass!” sold at (of all places) Sears, and K-Mart.
(Gee, I wonder why they went out of business.)
Why am I telling you all this?
Because hiring a comedian is pretty similar to the logic used here.
When you’re just starting out in comedy, there are two truths:
- You want all the stage time you can get. You’re hungry for it. You travel hours for a few minutes.
- You think you have more material than you do.
Let’s break those down.
First, you want more stage time.
When I was just starting out, I lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
There were two comedy clubs, but only one had an open mic night, the night where amateurs could get up and test their five minutes.
Madison, Wisconsin, on the other hand, had two comedy clubs, and both offered an opportunity for young comics to figure out their craft.
So, every Wednesday, a couple friends and I would make the one-hour drive from Milwaukee, to Madison, to get a few minutes on stage.
We’d alternate between the clubs every week, in order to see different audiences (and to not wear out our welcome), and it helped us grow and develop our jokes.
So, if you’re looking to host a comedy show (or hire a comedian for your corporate event), you’re going to have a ton (a literal ton) of comedians knocking on your door, stating they’re the one for you.
The fact of the matter is, most of them won’t be right for you, or for any venue.
Why?
Because of my second point above: all young comedians think they have more time than they do.
I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve heard a young comedian talk about how they just headlined a gig, and my immediate thought is, “I’ve never seen you perform a successful ten minutes… What did you do for an hour?”
They will tell you they can get the job done, and maybe they even believe they can, but you need to vet every single applicant applying for your job.
And make no mistake, if you are in charge of a comedy show for any reason (specifically, the aforementioned ones—hosting a comedy night at your business; hiring a comedian for a holiday party), you need to know exactly who will be taking your stage.
Want to skp all this? Head over to my corporate page.
How do you vet a comedian?
First off, check their website.
Does it look professional?
Neat.
But, anyone can make a professional-looking website.
Does it have real, genuine and verifiable testimonials?
Places they’ve performed, and people willing to go on the record to say they did well?
That right there is the most important thing to look for.
That said, people are liars.
A hungry comedian is as dishonest as a politician. They will lie, just to get ahead.
So, dial up their YouTube.
Do YOU find them funny?
Do they have jokes, or are they rambling on?
Does the video look professional?
Is the audience laughing?
You’d be absolutely stunned by how many comedians put up sets where even the audience is silent. And this is supposed to be their business card?
Get outa here.
HEY, ARE YOU STILL READING? WELL, I’VE GOT A SECRET FOR YOU…
I’ve been doing some research, and apparently if you drop a TON of blogs at the same time, about the same topic, it’s gonna boost your webpage.
So that’s what I’m doing here.
I’m churning out a massive word salad in the hopes of gaining a few Google hits.
But, here’s the thing: I’ve been a comedian for quite a while now.
I’ve performed at A-list comedy clubs, dingy one-night bars, for American troops stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan…
I performed for more corporate events than you can shake a stick at, and for high school after proms.
I have released eight albums, one of which made it into the iTunes top 20 on their comedy chart, gained over 280,000 followers across social media, over 100,000,000 views on YouTube, and have written four books.
I’ve got a Disney Clean act (about 20 minutes), a PG act (45 minutes to an hour), PG-13, (hour and 15 minutes) and then a no-holds barred act that can go for two hours.
What do I pitch to most corporate clients?
The 30-minute act.
And guess what?
I take less money for that one.
Yup, you read that right: I push my least expensive package.
Why?
Because corporate events are about socialization.
You have dinner, a few drinks, maybe a giveaway or awards presentation, and then comedy becomes a nice cherry atop the sundae that is your event.
I’ve no problem performing for an hour, but I’ve found that 30-minutes is fairly Goldilocks: not too long, not too short, just right.
Yes, I’m shooting myself in the foot financially by offering less time for less money, but making you the happiest client you can be is my main goal.
What do I pitch most bars?
About an hour.
If corporate events are about visiting, bar events are about keeping the customer focused, and happy.
And, yes, drinking.
Because alcohol makes people happy (not really. It’s a depressant that elevates the happy if you’re already in a happy mood), and alcohol sales help the bottom line.
(Sometimes, they are the bottom line. Alcohol keeps businesses in the black, and that’s a good thing. Unless you’re a daycare.)
Anyway, because algorithms like 2,200-word essays (blogs), I’m gonna keep writing, but from here on out there’s a lot (and I mean a lot) of redundancy.
For some reason, Google thinks longer is better.
I looked up some example blogs, and wow…
They’re awful.
Like, as bad as the one you’re (probably not) reading right now, but without the personality.
AI probably wrote those other blogs. Meanwhile, I’m watching Archer and trying to milk a few hundred words out of a tired premise.
Maybe Google is reacting to TikTok, and the whole ‘Short Attention Span Theater’ spell the world is under.
Since the world is going in one direction, Google is going in the other direction.
If you’d like to pull the trigger and book me, or shoot me a message and ask a few questions, just open up your email and type in comedian.nathan.timmel (at symbol) gmail.com, and fire off your inquiry.
(Sorry, I can’t make it an active email/link, because those ever-present bots get to spamming, and no one likes an inbox filled with junk.)
Anyway, thanks for making it this far!
Now, back to the essay.
When looking at the comedian’s website, do you see a variety of venues?
This is more important than you know.
If a comedian has only performed at one comedy club, it means they’re just getting started.
If they’ve only performed at comedy clubs, or bars, it means they’ve never had to stretch their legs; to branch out.
People at a comedy club are, shocking revelation coming, there to see comedy.
You don’t have to win them over, like you might at a bar, or corporate event.
If you hire a comedian with limited experience, they won’t have the ability to pivot when necessary; to realize when something isn’t working, and to change material up and find a place the audience enjoys.
If I had a dollar for every time I watched a comedian get stuck doing a bit the audience wasn’t enjoying, and they did it start-to-finish because they had no other material… I’d probably have a thousand dollars.
OK, well, that’s not dramatic, but that does mean it happens a lot.
The audience becomes more and more uncomfortable, and yet the comedian keeps going, simply because they don’t know how (or have the ability) to change things up.
On the same note, I’ve also watched many a comedian bail early because the audience wasn’t into it.
Imagine you’ve hired a comedian to perform for thirty minutes, or an hour, and they walk off the stage after fifteen minutes.
You now have an enormous hole in your evening.
You didn’t get your money’s worth, but you did get what you paid for.
And now, because, seriously, there’s really nothing more to be said on the matter, here are a couple essays written by Gemini, the Google AI bot.
The Importance of Hiring an Experienced Comedian
When planning an event, choosing the right entertainment can significantly impact its success. While hiring a comedian might seem like a simple decision, opting for an experienced professional can elevate your event to new heights. Here’s why:
1. Proven Performance:
- Consistency: Experienced comedians have honed their craft through countless performances. They’ve learned to adapt to different audiences, venues, and situations, ensuring a consistent level of quality.
- Adaptability: A seasoned comedian can read the room and adjust their material accordingly. Whether the audience is large or small, corporate or casual, they can tailor their performance to fit the occasion.
2. Strong Stage Presence:
- Commanding the Stage: Experienced comedians have a strong stage presence that captivates the audience from the start. Their body language, voice modulation, and timing are impeccable.
- Engaging the Crowd: They know how to connect with the audience, whether through humor, storytelling, or improvisation. A strong stage presence keeps the audience engaged and entertained.
3. Polished Material:
- Well-Crafted Jokes: Experienced comedians spend countless hours refining their material. Their jokes are well-crafted, punchy, and delivered with precision.
- Relevant Humor: They can tailor their material to suit the specific audience and occasion. This ensures that the humor is relevant and appropriate, avoiding any awkward moments.
4. Professionalism:
- Reliability: Experienced comedians are reliable and punctual. They understand the importance of arriving on time and being prepared for their performance.
- Technical Know-How: They are familiar with the technical aspects of performing, such as sound systems and lighting. This ensures a smooth and hassle-free performance.
5. Positive Impact on the Event:
- Enhanced Atmosphere: Laughter is contagious, and a good comedian can create a positive and memorable atmosphere.
- Stress Relief: Humor can help alleviate stress and tension, making it a great way to break the ice and lighten the mood.
- Increased Engagement: A well-performed comedy act can keep the audience engaged and focused, even during long or tedious events.
- Boosted Morale: Laughter can boost morale and improve team cohesion. It can also help to create a more positive and productive work environment.
By investing in an experienced comedian, you’re not just hiring entertainment; you’re investing in the success of your event. A seasoned comedian can elevate the overall experience, leaving a lasting impression on your audience.
Laughter, often described as the best medicine, is a powerful tool for promoting physical and mental well-being. It’s a simple yet profound act that can have far-reaching benefits.
On a physiological level, laughter stimulates various bodily functions.
It triggers the release of endorphins, natural painkillers that elevate mood and reduce stress. A good laugh can also strengthen the immune system, boost energy levels, and improve circulation. By increasing oxygen intake and stimulating muscles, laughter can even contribute to physical fitness.
Beyond physical health, laughter plays a crucial role in our emotional and psychological well-being. It can help alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression. When we laugh, our brains release dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This neurochemical boost can improve our mood and overall outlook on life.
Laughter also fosters social connection. Shared laughter can strengthen bonds between people, promote empathy, and reduce feelings of isolation. It can help to build trust and create a positive and supportive environment.
Incorporating laughter into our daily lives can be as simple as watching a funny movie, spending time with loved ones, or practicing humor and lightheartedness. By making a conscious effort to laugh more often, we can reap the numerous benefits of this powerful emotion.
So, the next time you have a chance to laugh, embrace the moment. Let go of your worries, relax, and enjoy the healing power of laughter.
Man, I gotta tell ya…
Chat GPT is much better than Google’s Gemini.
You tell Chat GPT you want 400 words, you get 400 words.
You tell Google’s Gemini you want 400 words, you 250, maybe 300.
Way to drop the ball, Google.
Way to drop that ball.
Image by Andreas Glöckner Pixabay