Dear Hollywood Liberals,

Stop being pussies.

Quit saying, “This movie will provoke violence against Muslims!”

When I was in high school, I listened to the band Slayer. A lot. And you know what? I didn’t become a Satanist. I didn’t look into the occult, I didn’t read Anton LaVey’s book, and I didn’t skin any animals as offerings to a Goat-God.

It was music, and that’s all.

You’re all so quick to jump to the defense of violence and gratuitous nudity when it suits your needs, which means you don’t get to jump on your standard politically-correct bandwagon here because you think this particular movie might insult a religion or sect.

Have there been anti-Islam Tweets because of American Sniper? Yes. But those idiots were idiots before seeing the movie. Just like listening to Slayer didn’t make me a Satanist, seeing a movie didn’t make any morons, morons. They were already stupid.

You don’t get to defend Grand Theft Auto and slam American Sniper. That’s not how freedom of expression (or speech) works. Art is art, no matter how high or lowbrow it is.

On the flip side…

Dear Right-Wing Shitheads,

You never, never, ever get to whine about violence and filthy lyrics in Hollywood movies or music again. Do you understand how fucking stupid you look defending this movie just because it gives you an erection for ‘Merica?

You are such hypocrites it’s not even funny.

You didn’t learn this lesson with The Passion of the Christ (because you’re a dense lot of simpletons), so I’m explicitly spelling it out for you here: just because you enjoy something doesn’t make it OK. I know you get all your talking points from Fox News, because I laughingly “argue” with you sometimes. You never have facts to back up your rhetoric, because you exist to be told what to think.

I know you can’t help it at this point, but maybe, just maybe, you could try raising your kids to not be intellectually-impaired assholes like you.

Planet Earth will thank you for it.



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