Colin Kaepernick Sat Down and I Don’t Give A Shit

“Nothin’ ever doesn’t change, but nothin’ changes much.”

~OK Go, White Knuckles

When I discovered Colin Kaepernick—Kaep, for the sake of brevity—sat through the National Anthem, I giggled.

I knew he’d receive flack, and I made a quick Facebook post in support of said flack. I’ve never been a fan, and therefore was amused that the low-grade yet multi-millionaire quarterback would be getting raked through the press.

Had I known it was going to become another impassioned shouting match between side-takers, I wouldn’t have bothered.

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Thank You, Preston Lacy

Rodney Dangerfield said he didn’t get any respect.

It was his most famous hook, and mostly a lie. Everyone respected Rodney. But only after he was famous.

The line came from his life, and was born in honesty: stand-up-comedy as a whole isn’t respected. It’s the only art form where heckling occurs. There’s an old line, “You never see anyone bring a guitar and amplifier to a concert and start playing back at the band.” At a comedy show, people yell out whatever enters their pea-brain. That doesn’t happen at the theater.

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I’m in Love with Honey Lemon

I have a toddler in the house, which means I see the same movies over, and over, and over.

(And over.)

During the 6,432nd viewing of Big Hero 6, I had a casual epiphany.

Figuring she should be kept abreast of all developments in my life, I called out to my wife: “This will be the stupidest thing you ever hear me say.”

My wife was skeptical; she’s heard me say many stupid things. Just about every time I open my mouth, in fact, something idiotic exits it.

“I’m adding Honey Lemon to my safety list,” I concluded.

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5 Reasons to See an Unknown Comedian

A little while back, a friend of mine performed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He said the shows were lightly attended, with a couple dipping well below the 100-person mark.

I found this depressing for two reasons: One, a comedy club needs paying customers to remain viable. Two, at the same time Milwaukeeans were avoiding the comedy club, Kevin Hart was performing 6 sold-out shows—15,000 tickets in all—at the Riverside Theater. People were seeing stand-up, just not at their local club.

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Chechen Roulette


For his role in the Boston Marathon bombing, Dzhokhar Tsarnev, a name that makes spell check say, “Are you fucking kidding me?” was sentenced to death by lethal injection.

Some will debate whether or not the Death Penalty should be legal/is constitutional/is moral/etc., but this is not a blog about that particular argument. I’ve already tackled, and won the “Death Penalty” dispute, thankyouverymuch.

(And yes, won. 99% of anti-penalty responders tried arguing something I had already covered in the blog. Reading wasn’t their strong suit; a desire to crow was.)

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The Future Needs a Big Kiss

When I heard Chris Rock say, “I won’t work colleges anymore, because they’ve gotten too conservative,” I paused.

In his own words: Not in their political views — not like they’re voting Republican — but in their social views and their willingness not to offend anybody. Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.”

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