Rage On, Internet Warrior: Part 1

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Let me tell you the same joke, two different ways:

  • On August 26th, a planet made entirely out of diamond was discovered adjacent to our solar system. I guess this means the next time Kobe cheats on his wife, he knows what to buy to placate her.
  • On August 26th, a planet made entirely out of diamond was discovered adjacent to our solar system. I guess this means the next time Kobe rapes a chambermaid in the butt, he knows what to buy to placate his wife.

The not-so-subtle difference between the two versions is use of the powerful word: “rape.”

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Endgame

Do you know the story about the Zen master and the little boy? There was a little boy, and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse. And everybody in the village says, “How wonderful! The boy got a horse.”  And the Zen master says, “We’ll see.” Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg. And everybody in the village says, “How terrible!” And the Zen master says, “We’ll see.” Then a war breaks out, and all the young men have to go off and fight, except the boy can’t ’cause his leg’s all messed up, and everybody in the village says, “How wonderful!” And the Zen master says, “We’ll see…”

                                    ~Charlie Wilson’s War

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The Silence of the Veal

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There are probably 1,000,0001 reasons I could never be a farmer, but the story I got to hear multiple times yesterday would have to be listed as number one with a bullet.

What’s amusing to me is how absolutely normal the event is in the farming world. While not a daily occurrence, it does happen often enough for a farmer to not even bat an eye while carrying out such a chore.

My wife’s sister visited their grandmother—who lives on a farm surrounded by her sons and their beef-cattle farms—and then came to visit us. Here’s the tale she brought with her…

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